Reading Chapters 5 and 6 of Lysa Terkeursts book “What Happens When Women Say Yes To God”. I am going to combine a couple of the Blog Topics today.
Lysa talks about the love story of between Jacob and Rachel. How Jacob worked so many years to marry Rachel. Yet I can never think about that story without remembering the part about Leah. She was less attractive that Rachel and therefore wasn’t loved by her husband as much and maybe not even her father. Since her father tricked Jacob into marrying Leah I cannot fathom him ever caring much for Leah. What kind of father would intentionally give their daughter to a man who would never fully love nor appreciate her. Just about all her sons were named after her strong desire to find favor with Jacob and be loved by him. However he only loved Rachel. He might of cared for Leah also but Rachel was the most important person to him. He shows this by how he treats the children. He loved Joseph and Benjamin. He favored Joseph amongst all his sons. Which only let those same sons to be jealous of Jacob and sell him. It may have also made Jacob a little full of himself. It seems he was a little boastful and prideful. This one family to me shows that men should only marry one woman. Because he would almost always favor one over the other and the other would be justly jealous of the other. Women need to be loved. it seem unbearable to be the one who never received that love. In today’s world men do not marry more than one woman at a time. But that still doesn’t hide the fact that many women either in marriages or not yet married often feel unloved. Me for instance, I fear I am Leah, not Rachel. No man would ever be able to love me because I do not share Rachel’s beauty and am considered the unattractive sister. This very fear lead to my fear of saying yes to God. Its one of the chains I need to make. This chain that says. Your not good enough.
We notice that even though Leah didn’t completely receive her much needed love from Jacob we know that God did in fact love her. Because he gave her children.
Genesis 29:31 When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless.
God says we are fearfully and wonderfully made in Psalm 139:14 so why am I so fearful about not being attractive enough. God didn’t view Leah as unattractive so why would he view me as unattractive.
There really isn’t any reason to fear for it states in 1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. I want to be made perfect in love. What should I fear about saying yes to God he will be with me. Jeremiah 29:11-14 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord…
God will give me the strength I need. in 2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
I need to stop being a slave to my fear for I am a child of God. as it says in Romans 8:14-16 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.And by him we cry, “Abba,Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.
Lastly, I should make this my daily prayer as I wake up each morning.
Lord, I love you completely. I want to do your will. I want to say Yes to you in all your assignments that you will give me today. I will do this as a reflection of you. So that all can see you through me. I want them to desire you so I want to display a good image of you. I know I will not be able to do this through my own strength but only through the strength you give me to accomplish each task each day. I want you to use me daily. I say Yes in the midst of anything that distracts me from your plan. I say yes to persevering in those times I doubt. I say yes to being obedient to you each day. I know you will be with me each day and I thank you for trusting me and helping me and being with me. 
dec25kelly 