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the Loneliness of Singleness.

The loneliness of singleness comes with the loss of friends due to marriage, child-rearing and job changes. Not necessarily having a man or woman in your bed at night. Not that, that would not be something one should or would enjoy. Its just that for some of us we are not meant for that kind of relationship. Marriage or dating isn’t in the cards for everyone. Many singles will remain single and never marry or have a significant relationship. So our friendships become more important to us. The problem is we need to learn to have short term strong relationships. As soon as one of the members of the friendship relationship has a significant change in their lives the friendship has little choice than to suffer some. You will always remain friends, however, that friendship will take a back seat to all other relationships. Especially when one of them gets into a relationship. Because the only way for that relationship to grow the person must put their focus on them. If you get married your primary relationship becomes that with the spouse. When you have kids your focus is on the relationship of the children.

In Genesis 2:18, God states that it is not right for man to be alone. So he created woman. However, what happens when the woman is the one alone. No one was made for her. She was made for someone else. In many cases the woman isn’t wanted by any of the male creations. So what is she supposed to do when she is living her life alone and is constantly losing her friends. What does God have planned for her life. Its not marriage at least not at this point.

Most days being single means being alone. When friends are building other relationships the relationship you had will dwindle. It has no choice but to dwindle. Because the most important relationship in a persons life should be your marital and parental relationships. You have no helper. No one to go through financial struggles with. No one to lean on when things get tough and life gets scary. We hear so often of the struggles of married people. They believe they are the ones who have the most to deal with the most difficult things. But they fail to realize that they are going through these struggles with someone at their side. That is probably one of the reasons most of those relationships fail. Because they still think they are going through the life alone and they make the other person their enemy. If they bothered living through life’s difficulties with each other instead of against each other.

Losing a job as a single is difficult because you have no one who has a job who can help until you get back on your feet. You and you alone pay your bills. There is no money coming from anywhere. Then you add the emotional issues that come with this struggle. Its difficult to come home from a long hard day at work and not have anyone there for you. Being single has its struggles and being alone is the most difficult struggle.

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Being a Woman

Sometimes I think its harder being a woman. Especially a Woman who wants to seek Gods will. It seems Gods will for women is to be submissive to husbands and have no say in her life. She is just to seek her husbands council and do mundane busy work. Maybe its because I am single and do not have children. But my house isn’t that hard to clean and I usually keep a clean space. If I had a family to make a mess I would see a stronger need to clean more often. It seems in this world we find men as being valuable and women are not really needed. You see study after study about how children need fathers. Yet no one these days seems to think moms are as needed. Women are to be mens cheer leaders, maids and lovers. I don’t see a value in that life. I want to be heard. I want to have a say. But as a woman I am not supposed to have a say in anything. Maybe my future husband will listen to my side but in the end he is the one who makes the decision so I might as well keep quite. Because my say doesn’t matter unless it is to agree with him in ever choice he makes. Then if something goes wrong I am to take the blame even though I didn’t have the say. When men cheat its seen as the woman’s fault not the mans. If the woman makes a mistake its solely her fault and men do not have to share in the blame. Women however need to share in the blame for the choices and decision men make. Even though she technically has no say. Then you have the added stress of having to be worthy of the man but looking your best at all times. Never ever fail in the looks department. For me this is hard. I have already failed in this aspect. Why I am single for a reason and the reason is I am physically unattractive and therefore unworthy of any man. Women have to earn a mans love at all times of the relationship. We have to make sure he is never ever ashamed of us in any way. Because if we fail in the looks department we have failed as wives for our husbands. Meanwhile men are given love and respect freely. They do not have to earn anything because we are already unworthy of them simply because we are the weaker inferior sex. Men are the stronger superior sex. Even God gave the full control and power over women. He made sure women knew where she stands in his eyes. She stands beneath all of his creation. We are the one thing he is fully ashamed of because we are the one and only creation that wasn’t part of the original design. We are his afterthought. I don’t see in any way how God loves women nor how men love their wives. If you have to earn love then you are not really loved.

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ARGHHHH

I am so frustrated today. I had some hail damage to my car a few weeks ago. I turned my car into an Auto Body Repair shop which originally told me they would have the car finished by the first week. Well the next day they said the amount the insurance agent gave me would not be enough to fix the car properly. They had to get my insurance company to re-estimate the damages. By the end of the week they still hadn’t gone by to check out my car. The very next week the woman who works at the repair shop did an estimate. They must not have liked it I really do not know because it took the claims adjuster another week to get the claim done. They didn’t turn it into the insurance agent until this last Monday. So the insurance wastes more time and doesn’t give the repair shop the estimate until today. Which only means I cannot get my car until next week. I have had to drive around in a rental. I have to pay for out of my own pocket while everyone else is procrastinating. I finally blew today. I told them that I am going to pick up my car tomorrow and that they are incompetent and do not deserve to get paid. I want my car back and I don’t want to listen to any more excuses as to why they haven’t even started on working on the car. I was told they would order the parts the week before I even took my car into the company. They obviously didn’t so Now I must suffer. I don’t understand why all this is taking forever. I got the original estimate within two weeks and this whole processes is just so frustrating. If they tell me they understand I might just blow again. If they understood they would have been done by now instead of stringing me along for so long. I actually have a check in my purse for the repairs from the insurance agents from the first time I got the estimate. They told me to hold onto the dang thing until I picked up the car. Yet they cannot start until they get the next check. I do not understand why they have done absolutely nothing. What is the most frustrating is that they have told me they would keep me informed yet have not informed me about anything until I finally call them. If they had bothered to tell me in the first place that the insurance company was being slow I could have lit a fire under them and gotten them to work faster. I yelled at two women at the repair shop and sent four messages to the insurance company. I feel guilty about bashing these two women. They did not deserve my outburst. I should have waited to before calling them but I didn’t. Then I called again before I was even calm enough to talk kindly to these women. Imperfect Progress is right. I thought I was dealing with this minor inconvenience but I haven’t done a good job. I cannot afford to pay one more week for this rental. It has cost me more than it should have in the first place. I think I should reread Unglued and take more notes. Because I am at the end of the book and I am wondering what I have learned if anything.

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