Am I addicted to Stress? I was asked that question in Tracie Miles book “Stressed-Less Living”. Well I would never consider myself addicted to stress. Addicted to Dr. Pepper well yes but stress nope. But while reading through this book I realize I am addicted to stress. Its like I am not really living unless I have something to stress out about or worry about. If I am not worried I am being lazy. Plain and simple. I bet we all feel that way at one time or another. Each week in Melissa Taylors Online Bible Study we are given ideas of a blog. I am not sure which one this lies under but I will stick with the Addicted point. Our memory verse this week is
Psalm 22: 4-5, In you our Fathers put their trust; and you delivered them. They cried to you and were saved; in you they trusted and were not disappointed.
I need this verse right now. Because I am without a job. Actually I lost my job in time to start this study. Some of the blessings God has given me are that First. I already paid of my car not and my student loans so those are bills I don’t have to worry about. Second, I did not have to pay taxes I actually got some money back so I don’t have to worry about that either. When I first lost my job I worried most about having to pay thousands in taxes and still have to pay rent and other expenses. Talk about stress. I waited for weeks for the accountant to give me the news. I was relieved when I found out I didn’t owe anything. At this time I need to follow Psalm 9:10
Those who know my name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9:10.
I need to put my trust in the Lord at this time because it will only be through him that I will be able to find another job. This week in Chapter 8 of Stressed-Less Living we learn that we are addicted to stress. Tracie discusses a study done by in 2005 Leadership Review, published by the Kravis Leadership Institute at Claremont McKenna College in Claremont, California. It seems there are for times of adrenaline junkies. The Accomplisher, The Personal Deflector, The Organizational Deflector and the Dramatist. In my personal opinion
I believe I would be The Personal Deflector. This person uses their addiction to keep from assessing themselves and reflecting on their situation. They often have problems int their personal lives-or no personal life at all-the last thing they want to do is face up to that. So they convince themselves they have not time. Wow, that sounds like me. I have tried to place my identity in my Career and not very convincingly. I have absolutely no personal life. I stay home and never go out and do things. I don’t socialize with others ever. I have no clue how to relate to anyone. I am sure most people consider me a snob but really meeting people or getting to know people raises my anxiety. Its stressful for me so I would rather just have a job and focus on that. I am probably the worst date any man would ever have. I cannot relate to them in any way. I feel self conscious and am constantly trying to figure out what to say to them and how to interest them. Funny thing is I have the same anxiety in applying for jobs. Because at some point I will have to have an interview with perspective employers. I will have to answer many of the same question I have to answer in a date. What do you do for fun? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? What can you bring to this company? What are your strengths weaknesses? All I think is I have no clue. I cannot fathom where I will be in five years. I don’t think I have strengths. I do however have plenty of weaknesses. I have no idea what I can bring to a company. How I can help them make any money. So therefore I do not have a professional identity. I don’t have a personal identity either. I am no ones wife no ones mother. I am a daughter and a sister but once you become an adult those seem to really have no need for you. Or at least not enough to keep you busy for the rest of your life and forget being able to provide for yourself. Yeah, I guess I am an Adrenaline Junkie and I am definitely a Stress Addict. I create in my own mind things to stress out about. That is why I have no personal life and now no professional life either. Because I am so stressed with my own abilities or lack there of or my own ability to interest someone enough that I just avoid those things. Try to keep myself busy and most importantly avoid my own dissatisfaction with my lack of a personal life.
I have seriously consider seeking a matchmaker or relationship specialist just to see how I can fix my own personal life and maybe even help me with my professional life. Like that new show “Find Me My Man” Maybe she wont help me to find me a man but maybe she will help me get over my own anxieties enough to get me the confidence and lack of stress enough for me to find me my career. I can worry about the man another time. Then again maybe I am still avoiding my lack of a personal life and just maintaining my own “Personal Deflector” status.